Sunday, October 25, 2009

procrastination

this is exactly how i feel right now.

lately i'm finding myself interpreting my faith the way i want it to fit my social opinions. and i am also finding that it is making me incredibly cynical and critical, among other things.

i often tend to resist or play devil's advocate, when it comes to a lot of things that play toward the idea of "corporate religion." whether it is gender roles, prayer, etc., i want to be the kind of christian who considers all sides of a debate and feels comfortable going against the common belief. and generally i do.

but recently i've felt as though i have neglected to listen to the Word because i'm listening to myself. and it has caused me to procrastinate something fierce when it comes to this task of reading the entire Bible. i'm putting it off because i don't want to do what everyone else is doing. which, as we all know, just causes me to do what everyone else is doing -- just on the opposite side. i'm also putting it off because i tried this before, and in all honesty, it was kind of boring. and that, my friends, is what truly scares me. how on earth do i live out a faith that bores me?

so i'm going to begin this journey, albeit a little late, in hope and prayer that i can rediscover a faith that is exciting and not rule-driven, and silence (ok, at least turn down the volume on) my own words to experience the ones that really matter.

wish me luck.

jenny

4 comments:

  1. Girl I sooo feel you on this. This is exactly why at the age of 31 I am FINALLY reading :-). I have found that reading it this way (in order of events) is making it far more interesting. Add that to the fact that some of it is just so downright unbelievable and it's gotten really gripping at times. I will say that Job is giving me fits, but I'll save that for another post :-) Good luck! I am glad we are in this together!

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  2. yeah, i can relate to this as well. i have the attitude sometimes of "Jesus is/was the son of God...he died and rose again to pay for my sins...he sits at the right hand of the Father": since i know that and believe that, i don't NEED to read the Bible! i got it all figured out!

    but that's really a very disrespectful attitude for me to have. it's disrespectful to the people who wrote the bible and most of all, to God himself. this is His letter to us and it's our duty to know as much about it (Him) as we possibly can.

    "reading the Bible all the way through" should be something i do dozens of times before i die. this 1st time is just to get warmed up.

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  3. My husband has said some of the things you said in this post to me many times-interesting. Just wanted to pop in and say thank you for stopping by on a SITS day and commenting on my blog-I appreciate it.

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  4. So you're my wife. It's fitting that you'd take the words right out of my mouth! I think that along with you I'm worried that I'm going to come across things that I don't understand, will be contradictory, and that I'll disagree with.

    And that makes me feel very uneasy.

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